If you were guaranteed an answer to any question you have, what would you ask and of whom?
"Why?" to the Eternal Force.
What's on your "To-Do" list today? What are you most looking forward to and what are you most dreading?
Oh, good lord. Do you know just how big my to-do list is?
No, it's not the one on the left, but it is the one on the right. Yellow index cards RAWK.
Currently on the list: water plants, straighten house, fry's for adaptor, load car, gas car, home depot pickup (call), and go.
The last one is my favorite:
GO.
Because of the whole crazy medical ordeal and my mother's car accident recently (she got rear-ended on her way to visit me at the hospital one night and her spinal cord's unfortunately a bit out of alignment as a result), our family's been feeling a lot of financial strain lately. As a coping strategy, since I can't work at my part-time job anymore, I've been applying for scholarships like crazy during this winter break. As long as they allow international students and I qualify otherwise, I'm pretty much entering.
One of the scholarships I've entered is the Brickfish "Show Us a Smile campaign". Basically, you submit an original photo of you (or a friend) smiling and hope that you're ranked high enough or popular enough to win. Normally, I avoid these type of things like the plague, as self-promotion makes me uncomfortable, but since I'm not exactly in the best situation right now, I'll swallow my pride for the sake of possibly easing a bit of our monetary troubles. This is where you all may be able to help, if you wish. My photo can be seen and voted for here. Contest goes from tonight until February 12, 2008, and you're allowed to vote once every 24 hours, so there'll be plenty of time for you to visit if you can't now. Thanks in advance; it's much appreciated!
One of the hardest things for me as a blogging Apple employee always had to be watching the public misapprehend the company's intentions while remaining prudently silent. Apple is slowly opening the lines of communication to its stakeholders these days (witness the recent series of letters from Steve to Apple customers--a veritable deluge of communication by Apple standards!), but in general I think it has traditionally done a far worse job of managing its relationship with its loyalists than many ostensibly less enlightened companies. As a result its reputation has often suffered unnecessarily.
The latest example I've seen of this is the consternation over Apple's failure to seed the Leopard GM build to developers. A lot of the negative reaction toward this that I saw on Twitter was probably, at its root, based on an assumption that is frequently fed by Apple's poor standards of communication: that Apple as a whole disdains (or at least disregards) third party developers, and therefore as a matter of policy the company had decided to deny developers the GM (perhaps to extract more money from them?).
Well, I may not work there now, but I did work in the OS division of Apple for several years (I even briefly worked as the liason to a major third party developer, Adobe), I'm pretty familiar with how things work there, and I'm still in touch with a lot of people who worked on Leopard. And I don't believe for a minute that this was true. I'm convinced that the key fallacy behind this, and a lot of other mistaken ideas about Apple, is the idea that the company always operates as a homogenous entity, and that everything it does is as a result of some company-wide, top-down animus. The reality is usually a lot more mundane.
I have known this to be true in cases where people give Apple too much credit as well as not enough. One of my favorite examples was a post of Dave Winer's some time ago in which he saw Apple's addition of a certain feature to a certain Apple app as evidence of a brilliant, fully-meditated stratagem of Apple's to dominate a certain market. I had been privy to some of the discussions about adding the feature in question, and my perception was very different. Rather than coming from on high as part of some master plan, the initial feature request Radar had originated with an enthusiastic low-level employee from an entirely different team, and it was initially denied because the right people didn't see the value in it. It wasn't that Apple as a whole decided that it wanted to dominate a new market--it was, at least initially, the idea of just one person operating independently.
By the same token, on the negative side, I suspect that the explanation for the missing seed (pure speculation on my part, to be fair) has nothing to do with any malicious or greedy organizational intent (or even plain old indifference) on the part of Apple, but rather with the fact that the time between the GM build and the Leopard ship date was likely too short to make an advance seed practical. I would guess that the OS people were quite motivated to get the product in the hands of the consumer as quickly as possible (and meet the difficult October deadline) without introducing any unnecessary delays. If the particular Apple employees in charge of seeding were out of line in this situation, I would guess it was only in the sense that they understimated the importance of such a seed in many developers' minds in their hurry to get an already delayed release out the door.
My point in all of this, I suppose, is that when it comes to interpreting Apple's actions, Ockham's razor is usually the best guide: the simplest explanation is to be preferred. Apple, like any company, is composed of a large number of pragmatic individuals, most of whom don't have any sort of agenda beyond trying to do their job and meet what are usually pretty demanding project deadlines. The scary Japanese guy who thinks AppleScript engineer Chris Nebel has an anti-Japanese agenda and is trying to sabotage AppleScript localization would be better off assuming that any perceived sins on Chris' part are sins of omission. And the people who were haranguing Apple over its disdain for developers would be more fair not to ascribe malice to something that could be easily explained by ignorance.
Of
course, this wouldn't be as much of a problem if Apple could just get better
at communicating with its customers and developers. Here's hoping that
things like Steve's DRM letter and iPhone refund are the start of a
move away from Cupertino's obsession with total secrecy, and that
misunderstandings like this can be resolved or avoided altogether
through reasonable dialogue in the future.
At the end of one of my last days working for Apple, some co-workers and I met for drinks at Santana Row, in San Jose. By this time, everyone knew I was leaving, so of course everyone was asking what I was going to do next. I made some unenthusiastic noises about possibly working for a San Francisco startup that was trying very hard to recruit me, but I'm sure I didn't sound too convinced, because it wasn't too long before my friend Mike chimed in with "I know what I'd do if I were you." When I asked what, he said: "I'd buy a Canon 5D, the 50mm 1.4 lens, and hit the road!"
Around the same time, I was IMing with my friend Sarah about my uncertain future plans, and, completely unprompted, she echoed Mike's sentiment that I should get some distance from San Francisco for awhile. I think she felt (rightly) that it was the best way for me to get some perspective on my situation.
Now, both of these friends know me pretty well, and I'm sure they both knew that deep down, hitting the road was precisely what I wanted to do. I had felt so constrained by my job for so long that by the time I quit, my spirit was, to paraphrase Led Zeppelin, crying for leaving. Combine that with my lingering sense of personal and professional disillusionment toward the Bay Area, and a good, long break and change of scenery was pretty much the only way I was going to get my enthusiasm back.
So I told the starup I wouldn't be working for them (with the help of a little just-in-time confidence boost from my friends Mai and Courtney), bought the camera gear, and did exactly what Mike suggested. Living mostly off income from my shareware app, PodWorks, I've since traveled extensively in California, Colorado, New Mexico, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Chicago, and Spain. As anyone who has been following my Flickr stream has seen, I've had a pretty amazing run. Among the highlights:
- I hiked on spring snow with my Dad in Rocky Mountain National Park, Colorado.
- I scaled the Great Sand Dunes in Southern Colorado.
- I followed in Ansel Adams, Georgia O'Keefe, and Paul Strand's footsteps by taking sunset photographs of Mission San Francisco de Asis outside Taos, New Mexico.
- I had my first kiss with a long-distance crush (now my girlfriend) by lamplight in Central Park, then spent a magical weekend in the art deco, Central Park West apartment of my dreams (all of which is such a good story that it merits a post of its own!).
- I drank in some of the best bars New York City (and therefore the world) has to offer (including probably my all-time favorite, Milk & Honey).
- I got excited about being an indie Mac developer again at Wolf Rentzsch's already-legendary C4 conference in Chicago, while enjoying the company of my brother Bobby and good friend Sarah.
- I took my East Coast girlfriend on a tour of my favorite part of the West Coast--in a ridiculously souped-up Shelby Mustang convertible, no less.
- I celebrated my 30th birthday in Barcelona and at a beautiful Mediterranean villa with two of my best friends. We drank Estrella Damm by the pool and ate at some ridiculous restaurants.
- I spent a week with my sweetie in one of the vanishing landmarks of New York Bohemian cool, the Chelsea Hotel, before the forces of gentrification could take it over completely.
In total, I've spent probably 100 out of the 180 days since I've left Apple on the road. And, while I've finally grown a bit travel weary of late and I've started thinking about where and how to settle down again, I've finally come home with a renewed enthusiasm and entreprenurialism, and a realization that I've been priveleged to enjoy the kind of freedom in my travels that most people only dream of. I may slow down for awhile, but you can bet I won't stay put for long.
At 1:30 a.m. or so, we heard a really loud blast outside. It turns out it was a pipe bomb aimed at some Sopranos guy. Right across the street!
"Ugh. My feet stink."
"Mine do, too!"
"Yeah, well, I have my shoes off."
"Touché."
Having spent most of the weekend eating the peanut butter cookies Shirley made on Friday, I didn't do so well this morning at Velocity. The workout was 3 rounds of: 20 chest passes with a semi-bouncy 10# medicine ball, 10 shuttle sprints, 20 backward over-the-head ball tosses, 10 shuttle sprints, 20 sideway tosses (each side), 10 shuttle sprints, and 20 ball slams. I managed the first round with the 12# medicine ball, but could barely lift the ball for the second round.
My last set of sprints were pathetic in speed, but fairly okay in my starts.
I did manage to finish the workout, but I think that was more due to the fact I didn't have to duck out early to shower before catching the train. Mom's picking me up from the train station.
On the way to the station, as Kris was dropping me off, I commented, "Too many cookies, not enough exercise this weekend."
"Yeah, restraint isn't exactly in your vocabulary, is it?"
When it comes to Shirley's peanut butter cookies? Absolutely not.
Sitting here at Kris' softball, I'm entertained by the men and one woman playing the game. It's a much different group than the ultimate crowd: nearly everyone is overweight, slow. Yet it's very clear this group of people enjoy playing the game, probably asmuch as we enjoy playing ultimate, love their sport as much as we love our sport.
Or maybe not. Ultimate players are very much an insane, dedicated group of people.
The pitcher on Kris' team is really good for the league, which I think is the B league, maybe C, I don't know how many teams in each.
Watching Kris is pretty awesome. It's close enough to baseball that Kris is clearly having a good time, enjoying the idea of playing baseball, his one true sports love, again.
I read eariler this week an article about a 41 year old goalie who absolutely loved playing soccer. He played every weekend, during the week if he could, throwing himself around after the black and white.
His wife, on the other hand, hated that he played. She feared his injuring himself, and possibly making himself unable to work. His being the sole bread winner in the family of three, her concerns may have been valid, but insisting a spouse stop participating in the sport he loves, the activity that keeps him young, and alive, well, that insistence sounds an awful lot like marital suicide.
Kris plays softball, and risks making his minorly injured shoulder a serious injury. It's his shoulder, it's his choice. I'll schedule the massages; I'll rub when I can; I'll always cheer him on; but I'd never ask him to stop.
How could I when I see the joy in his face when he throws that perfectly grounded ball?
